New beginnings are special times in children’s lives, filled with excitement and a variety of emotions; starting school is one of the most important of these journeys. Near East University Hospital Yeniboğaziçi Clinical Psychologist Deniz Aykol Ünal explained the attitudes parents should be mindful of during the school adaptation process.

Clinical Psychologist Deniz Aykol Ünal noted that every child’s developmental process is different, saying, “Children’s developmental pace, reactions to events, and emotional processes can vary. Some children feel motivated and happy before starting school, while others may experience intense anxiety, fear, or reluctance. Some children wave goodbye to their parents at the school gate, while others may struggle to leave and experience intense anxiety.” Ünal emphasized that children need to be emotionally and mentally prepared before starting school. Psychologist Deniz Aykol Ünal said, “It is absolutely essential to explain that the anxiety and fear they feel are normal.”

Emphasizing that children appreciate order and a sense of security, Clinical Psychologist Deniz Aykol Ünal said, “A new experience can create anxiety in children, just as it does in adults. If this anxiety is not addressed promptly and appropriately, it can progress to separation anxiety disorder.”

What should parents do?

Stating that, above all, parents should establish transparent, kind, and loving communication with their children, Clinical Psychologist Deniz Aykol Ünal said, “What the school experience will be like should be explained honestly; school should be presented realistically, not just as a ‘place full of fun and wonders.’” Children should be given the following: It’s important to explain that children can make new friends at school, gain new activities and skills, that there are specific rules, that mealtimes must be followed, that permission from the teacher must be obtained for toilet use, that children can learn academic knowledge in class, that children can play games with friends with whom they enjoy interacting, and that sometimes they may even have friends they dislike.

Deniz Aykol Ünal, a Specialist Clinical Psychologist at Near East University Yeniboğaziçi Hospital, said, “Using school as a source of threat or fear is a big mistake,” and added, “Statements like ‘If you do this, your teacher will be angry’ or ‘Your friends won’t like you’ should definitely be avoided.” Instead, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Deniz Aykol Ünal stated that sharing positive school memories can give the child a positive outlook. Ünal also noted that having a fun school shopping experience and giving the child a say in selecting supplies can also boost their excitement.

Ünal also emphasized that parents should not dramatize the first moment they leave their children and said, “Seeing a child grow is certainly an emotional process; however, tears can cause the child to interpret the situation differently.” Finally, in cases where the adaptation process takes a long time and anxiety persists, expert support should be sought to prevent the process from becoming chronic.